It might not come as a suprise to anyone who knows me or if you´ve read some of this site, but I´m a major geek. I have two desktops, 3 laptops, 2 mobiles, an iPod, a 42" plasma TV, dvd, Sky… and the list goes on. The best part about all this is that I know how they all work and how to use and if necessary, fix them.

 
Then there´s the rest of the population who listen to the PR, marketing and press bumf and go out and buy Centrino laptops and no access points, MP3 players, but don´t know how to rip their CDs and transfer them across…. and the list goes on.
 
So what happens when they realise they don´t know how to use their shiny new purchase? They come to people like me who they´ve heard "do computers". That´s fine except that I´m really busy and so don´t have enough free time to go round helping them all which just makes them get arsey. "Why don´t you charge them?" I hear you ask. I would but since my call-out charge at work for web development is about ?50 per hour, which I enjoy, then I´d have to charge about ?75 an hour (since I hate it) to make it worth doing during business time. I don´t think anyone´s going to pay me that to show them how to turn an iPod off (someone did ask).

 
So what´s the answer? Small print that´s not so small? Security software that updates itself? More training courses at Selfridges? Who knows. In the mean time, I´m going to scour t´interweb for an Xbox 360.

Just a random idea I had on the bus this morning. Kids can sometimes get ear ache from the cold wind in winter. If they listen to an iPod then that´ll stop it!
 
Maybe I should work for Apple´s marketing department. And before you all email me saying I´m just a lunatic with an amazing body, I haven´t slept much recently…

If you found this then you´re just as lazy as me and can´t be bothered to read the instructions that came with your shiny new iPod.
 
So how do you turn it off instead of waiting for it to power itself off? Easy, old down pause!

With a lot of people getting new PCs for christmas then I´m getting that feeling I always get around this time of year - in about a month various friends and family are going to ring me because their new computers are no longer working.
 
There are two main reasons for this - PC assemblers are more interested in profits than providing a secure product (bundle a free scanner instead of an AV subscription - it looks better to the consumer), and even though I continually tell people I´m a professional killer they eventually find out that I know about computers.
 
Luckily I´m not the only one that´s noticed this problem and now one of the big boys has taken action - Google. They´ve released the Google Pack which is a collection of useful bits of software that should be of some use for those that get a very basic set of software installed. True, a lot of the software is Google´s but it´s useful for home users and more importantly it includes security applications that in conjunction with SP2´s enhancements should keep most PC´s secure for a long time.

 
I´ll be recommending to to anyone who rings me. Hopefully word will get around and other people will start using and recommending it.